The Lion King Parody
by ThatTexasKid
Summary: Mufasa is the leader of a drug empire and is secretly Darth Vader? Simba is a wannabe gangster, while his best friend Nala is a legitimate gangster? Scar is anti-drug and wants a sober Pridelands? Follow along as your favorite characters and storyline are brutally ripped apart by pop culture! Rated T for language, drug references, and mature humor. R and R please!
1. The Beginning

**Hello all, and welcome to my story! This is purely meant to amuse readers, and if you don't like it, you don't have to read it. Well, I think that I have done enough blabbing, so without further ado, here is Chapter One!**

**DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING**

The elderly monkey slowly climbed the slope of Pride Rock. He climbed up so slowly that some of the baby zebras were already writing their wills by the time he got to the top of the Rock.

"Why do they make me do this? Why do I have to suffer?"

The monkey then slammed his hand against his face. "Of course, I remember now! I get free weed in exchange for holding children in the air!"

The monkey panted as he reached the top. Standing on the edge of Pride Rock was a large and regal looking lion with a red mane. A small bird lay on his shoulder with an arrogant expression on his face. The lion then spoke.

"Hello Rafiki."

"Greetings Lord Vader."

"Uh, I think this is the wrong fandom."

"Oh, right, sorry. Hi Mufasa."

The lion chuckled. "We are just waiting on Sarabi now. She's trying to get high before the ceremony. I don't think she wants to remember it."

"She has the heir to the Galactic Empire…I mean Pridelands, as well?"

"Yes. I think she's giving him his first taste of cannabis. Ah, here she comes now!"

Sarabi walked out, dazed and clumsy, holding the newborn lion cub in her arms. She tried to lick him in affection, but she missed, and fell on her face. The cub flew out of her arms, only to be caught by Rafiki.

"Sarabi, maybe you should go back inside. You know that we don't smoke meth here! Only weed and heroin!"

"But it makes me feel happy!"

"Do you know how expensive that stuff is?"

"Yes Lord Vader."

"FOR THE LAST TIME PEOPLE, IT IS MUFASA!"

Meanwhile, Rafiki stumbled to get Simba to the edge of the cliff. He approached the edge, but slipped, launching the young cub down to the Savannah below.

"RAFIKI!"

"What? You know that I'm clumsy when I'm high!"

Down below, the young cub landed on a zebra's head, breaking his fall, but breaking the zebra's neck.

The zebra's mate cried in horror. "Mufasa! This is your fault! Wait until the emperor hears about this!"

"FOR THE LAST TIME, IT IS THE WRONG FANDOM. I AM MUFASA, NOT DARTH VADER!"

As his father said this, the little cub below began to eat from the zebra that had just (unintentionally) sacrificed itself to save the prince's life.

**Well, that is all for now. Again, I don't own TLK or Star Wars. Sorry for nagging, but PLEASE DON'T FORGET TO TELL ME WHAT YOU THOUGHT IN THE REVIEWS, they are the payment for us taking time to write these. Well, I will try to have the next chapter up whenever I possibly can, so until then, take care and drive home safely!**


	2. Viewing the EmpireI mean Kingdom

**Time for the next chapter of the "story." Thanks to Haraka97 for being the only person to review the first chapter. If you aren't Haraka97, WHAT ARE Y'ALL WAITING FOR? REVIEW! PLEASE! Well, now that my mini rant is over, the time has come for Chapter Two!**

**DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING!**

"Ouch! Ouch! Excuse me! Sorry foo. Get outta my way bitches!"

Simba ran arrogantly on top of the sleeping forms of the other lionesses, waking many of them up.

"Prince or not, that little bitch is gonna get it someday!"

"Yeah, we gotta teach him a lesson!"

Meanwhile, the young prince scurried over to his father, and began to tug on to his tail. "Come on mofo, wake the hell up! You said you were gonna show me the entire joint today!"

Sarabi growled angrily, and turned towards Mufasa. "Anakin, you have to control Luke."

"IF SOMEBODY GETS THE FANDOM WRONG AGAIN, SOMEBODY IS GOING TO DIE!"

"Anakin, you are his father!"

Mufasa, his eyes gleaming with anger, curled his paws into a fist, and held it in the air. Sarabi stared at him, puzzled. Mufasa then growled to himself. "Damn it! Force Choke does not work in this fandom!"

The king sighed, and stood up. "Come on Luke…I mean Simba. I'll show you the empire…I mean kingdom now."

The cub smiled and followed his father in glee. As the two lions began to leave, Sarabi yelled out behind them. "Anakin, you are becoming something I can't follow! All I want is your love!"

Mufasa ignored her comment as he and his son climbed atop Pride Rock. They looked out as the sun began to rise.

"You see Simba, everything the light touches are our growing fields."

Simba looked out and sure enough, hundreds of lions became visible, all of whom were picking marijuana plants and making heroin.

"Wow! But what about that shadowy place? Man, you said I ain't never be going there!"

"That is beyond our borders, Luke…I mean Simba. That land is ruled by anti-drug hyenas. They've been trying to put our family out of business for decades!"

"That's not good!"

Mufasa chuckled. "You see Simba, every living thing co-exists with each other in a perfect balance called the Force, I mean the Circle of Life. Us, the antelope, the cannabis, and even the hyenas!"

"Whoa! That's like, so radical foo!"

Mufasa chuckled. "It is ain't it? No go rub your privelidge in Uncle Obi-Wan's, I mean your Uncle Scar's face."

"Okay old man, I'll annoy that bitch like hell, man!"

**Well, that is all for now! In case you haven't noticed, all of these chapters are going to be very short. Hope y'all don't mind. PLEASE DO NOT FORGET TO LEAVE ME A REVIEW! Well, until next time, take care and drive home safely! Bye!**


	3. Graveyard

**Time for another chapter! Thanks to all who have reviewed so far. If you haven't, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? Well, I think I have done enough blabbing, so without further ado, here is chapter 3!**

**DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING**

"Yo Uncle Scar!"

The older lion looked up from being productive to see his nephew run up to him in a frenzy.

"What do you need Simba? Can't you see that I'm being productive? By not being on drugs, I've been doing cancer research. I think I'm close to a breakthrough here!"

Sure enough, there were several test tubes filled with strange liquids lying all around him, with complex diagrams and notes as well.

Simba laughed in disgust at his uncle. "Come on foo, yo are like, so freaking weird. I mean, who ain't like the dope?"

"Me, thank you very much. Now what do you actually need?"

"My bitch-ass pop showed me da whole joint! And ima rule it all!"

Scar grumbled and slammed his head into the ground. "Indeed. So he showed you everything, huh?"

"Yeah mofo!"

"Even the shadowy place?"

"Well, he said I ain't be going there."

"He's exactly right! A drug-lord graveyard is no place for a little cub! Oops."

"Man, a drug-lord graveyard! I gots to get me there!"

Scar face-pawed in fake guilt. "I shouldn't have said anything, PROMISE me you'll never go there!"

"Yo can't control what I do foo."

Scar was about to respond when Simba simply turned around and ran away. He sighed, and turned back to his cancer research. "Oh well. Back to doing something useful with my life!"

Meanwhile, Simba was running across Pride Rock, furiously trying to get back to the den. When he got there, his mother sat smoking pot with her best friend, who somehow managed to bathe her daughter, Nala, at the same time. Simba walked up to Nala and spoke.

"Sup bitch?"

"Man, I liked ya better when you weren't tryin to be gangsta."

"But I'm cool now!"

"Oh…hell no."

Simba shrugged his shoulders. "Anyway, I heard about dis cool place. Wanna light up dat joint?"

"Hell yeah 'Ba, once my bath is done. Yo Mama, ya done yet?"

"Almost Nala, but it's hard to bathe you while smoking my weed!"

"Then freaking pick one!"

At that moment, Nala's mother immediately dropped her to the ground and she continued to smoke her precious weed.

Sarabi then decided to chime in. "Nope, sorry hunnies, but this ain't happenin. Dat Zazu fellow gotta be going with y'all."

Nala rolled her eyes. "YO BITCH BIRD! GET THE HELL DOWN HERE, OR I'LL MESS UP YO FACE SO BAD YOU'LL JOIN A ORPHANAGE!"

Zazu immediately flew down to her. "You called?"

"Yeah. My momma said ya gotta watch the crown prince and I."

"Whatever. Just let me get my heroin."

Zazu did such, and then began to take the two cubs out. After about an hour of walking, Simba unexpectedly began to shout. "Hey! There be a Jedi over there!"

Zazu turned around on shock. "Where? Where? I have to notify Lord Vader!"

The small bird flew away leaving the two cubs all alone. "Okay. Now we be going to the drug-lord graveyard!"

"Friggen sweet! I can't wait to smoke there! Come here, honey!"

With that, Nala gave Simba a huge kiss on the lips, shocking them both.

"Dayum! Girl you are sexy as hell, man."

The two cubs laughed and made their way into the graveyard, and they began to look at the tombstones.

_Here Lies the Poor Bones of Big Jim Riotelli_

_April 22, 1933-March 14, 1971_

_Shot in the face 227 times. Stay in school kids, or you'll end up like Big Jim._

"Man, this place is creepy as hell!"

"Ain't that right bitch?"

At that moment, they heard the dark laughter echoing through the graveyard.

"Well Shenzi, it seems that we have a couple of lion cubs here."

"That's right Banzai! You agree Ed?"

"Indeed madam. I believe that the time has come for these precious lion cubs to receive standard compulsory education over the harmful effects of drugs and alcohol from our nationally recognized program."

The two cubs ran away back toward the Pridelands in absolute horror. Ed began to run after them.

"Wait! Come back! School hasn't even started yet!"

Then, Mufasa jumped out in front of the hyena and roared furiously.

"Uh…hello…Lord Vader."

"OH MY GOD! THE NAME IS MUFASA! AND HOW DARE YOU TRY TO CORRUPT MY SON?"

"We…uh…we were just trying to provide a beneficial source to help your son become a productive member of society!"

"BEING PRODUCTIVE IS FOR LOSERS!"

With that, Mufasa grabbed his son and began to storm away in a fit of rage, leaving Ed to simply roll his eyes.

"Oy. Sith Lords. They're all the same!"

**Well, that is going to be all for now. All grammatical and spelling mistakes in any part of this story are on purpose. PLEASE DON'T FORGET TO LEAVE ME A REVIEW. Well, until next time, good bye and drive home safely.**


	4. Gorge

**Time for another chapter! Thanks again to Haraka97 for reviewing the last chapter. If you have not reviewed yet, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? Well, I have done enough blabbing, so without further ado, here is the next chapter!**

**DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING!**

Simba was casually strutting around the Pridelands, smoking his weed without a single care in the world. It was during this time when Scar approached the yound prince in order to put his devious plan into action.

"Simba!"

"What do you want bitch?"

"Lord Vader…I mean your dad has a surprise for you down by the gorge!"

"Really? That is gonna be so freaking cool! What is it? WHAT IS IT FOO?"

Scar let out an evil grin. "That is for me to know and you to find out. It's a father/son sort of thing. You need it after the incident at the graveyard."

"Yo know bout dat?"

"Oh yes, the entire pride knows! And you might want to try working on that little gangster swagger of yours. Nala is way ahead of you in that department."

"That hurt, yo."

"It's the truth."

Scar then ran off to do who knows what when Simba began to advance towards the gorge. The young cub climbed down and began to speak into the air, practicing just as his uncle had told him to do.

"Sup bitch? I'm a foo and if you don't shut your mother-, no that ain't good. I gots to do better!"

Simba took out his pipe and took a quick whiff before he tried again. "OH HELL NO!"

The comment let out a large vibration and several thousand pounding feet began to make themselves known. A wildebeest heard began to approach the young cub, their feet pounding on the dirt of the gorge.

Simba turned tail and began to run furiously. Eventually, he saw a small tree and he climbed on of its branches, temporarily saving himself. At the top of the gorge, he began to see his father along with Zazu and Scar.

"Hold on Simba! I'm coming to get you!"

Right when Mufasa said this, the tree branch snapped and Simba began to fall towards the ground. The lion jumped 275 feet through the air in order to catch his son, which he did successfully. He dropped Simba off at a lower ledge of the gorge, and began to claw his way up.

The king approached the top and shouted to his brother who stood smiling on the top.

"Scar! Brother! Help me! Pull me up, what are you waiting for?"

Scar smiled, unsheathed his claws, and then grabbed Mufasa's paw. He leaned in close, and then chuckled softly.

"The Emperor sends his regards."

With that, Scar sent Mufasa flying to his death in the stampede. As he fell, Mufasa screamed. "WRONG FANDOM! NO!"

Simba saw his father fall into the hooves of the last few stampeding wildebeests, killing the king instantly. Simba ran towards the body of his father, and began to weep.

"Man. I loved that bitch! Now who gonna teach me bout weed?"

Scar walked down to his nephew who was…well…I guess you can call it mourning, and then spoke.

"Simba? What have you done?"

"I ain't be killin him. He was my paw!"

"If you hadn't used your gangsta words, this wouldn't have happened! That started the stampede!"

"Man, you're right! What can I do?"

"Run! Run away and never return!"

Simba took a last look at his uncle and then sprinted off into a nearby desert. The three hyenas from the graveyard approached Scar's side.

"Shenzi, Banzai, Professor Ed, make sure my nephew gets out safely and sober."

The three hyenas nodded and began to run after their assigned target.

**That is all for now! Don't forget to tell me what you thought in the reviews, and I will try to have the next chapter up whenever I possibly can! Until then, good bye, and dry home safely!**


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